They say that painful experiences make you a better person. I strongly agree with that. As I look back to the previous months of year 2006, I can say that this has been my most EMO year. I have gone through a lot this year but still, I am here - holding on, fighting and standing.
I’ve received a lot of messages recently that surely hurt me. You know me, I am too sensitive with things. I easily cry when I see beggar in the streets, when I am reprimanded by my parents, when I am touched everytime people do and say good things to me and when I encounter problems.
The last thing that I wanted to receive from people is painful messages but I guess, one way or another, I also deserve those words. I don’t think people would tell me those words if I didn’t do anything wrong. That’s why I am posting this for those people I have hurt unintentionally. I emphasized the word unintentionally because you all know that I never wanted to hurt anyone. Really. Even if I have already apologized to those people whom I have hurt, I wanted to say sorry again for unintentionally hurting you. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
I won’t deny that those painful words still haunt me until now. It’s hard for me to accept it. Whenever I speak up everytime I see something wrong, I always make sure that I remain tactful because like what I have said, I don’t really like hurting people - maybe because I just learned to be empathic. But no matter how you try to avoid hurting them, you still get boorish comments that would undeniably stab you to death. Hay.
Despite all of those experiences I have gone through, I am not losing hope and not giving up. I am even thankful for those friends who stayed beside me and gave support and understanding in what I am going through. I would like to thank them for just lifting my spirits up when I am down. Thank you so much.
And to those who have hurt me unintentionally (too), don’t worry. I am not mean. I’ve already forgiven you. But don’t expect me to forget it that easily. I am not a saint, either. I am not a hypocrite. Yes, we always say that we should forgive and forget but it’s not that easy to forget those painful words unless you give me a medicine that would crack my brain and have dementia at an early stage.
That is the reason why I really don’t like being called a kind person because when I do things that would disappoint them, people would just rant and rant and rant like “Ay, akala ko blah blah blah.. hindi pala, blah blah blah…“
I am just being myself. I am not kind but I am not evil. I can be naughty and stubborn at times but I am not entirely an immoral person.
In other words, I am just being true to myself and true to people I meet, hang out with, talk with, encounter and etc. I don’t pretend. I hate pretending. I wasn’t born to please anyone. One key to failure is trying to please everyone. If you like me, thank you very much. If you hate me, then I have to deal with it.
Starting today, I’d just be happy with who and what I have now. I would TRY to forget those bad things because I don’t want to take those blessings and good things for granted. Thank you too for those people who unintentionally hurt me because I learned something from you. Really. I am sincere in what I have just said. I perfectly know that everything happens for a reason and every experiences - may it be good or bad - gives me a lesson at the end of the day that is why I am thanking you for teaching me a lesson.
So now I am ending this post. Thanks for reading.
By the way, I am Xyla de Vera - a newly registered nurse who is so damn excited to get my license on January 11, 2007.
I am Xyla. I am me - now better and stronger.
Xyla. 22 years old. Female. Registered Nurse since
2006. FEU Graduate. 
This weblog is owned by me, Xyla De Vera. Contents here are copyrighted to me unless, otherwise stated. Images,brushes and contents taken from other sites are credited here.
Subscribe to this feed
December 22nd, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Xyla, I don’t really know what happened, but I am sure you couldn’t have done anything that bad to these people to say such bad things. Forgive is not easy, but forget is almost impossible, I know that.
Some bad experiences makes yourself stronger, although it’s not in the most pleasant way. I really like the ‘description’ of yourself.
Hope you feel a little better now.
Ohh, I love the layout you have here, so shiny!
Take care! (and expect a Xmas gift from me ;) )
[Reply]
December 22nd, 2006 at 10:36 pm
I like this entry of yours! =)
You know I think everybody can or should be able to forgive, but forget? I dont think anybody can forget, unless you are old or you got amnesia. If we say we forgive it doesnt mean we also forget.
and yes you are right, though we go through painfull trrials they do something good also, they make us stronger in the end!
Take care ate xy!! =)
[Reply]
December 23rd, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Your entry is very touching Ate Xy!
every trial has lessons that come with it.
:)
MERRY XMAS ATE XY! I LOVE YOU!
[Reply]
December 24th, 2006 at 7:06 am
But Monsieur Poopoo had heardstrange stories about the prodigious rise in real estate; and, havingunderstood that most of his neighbors had become suddenly rich byspeculating in lots, gratis cam anschauen he instantly grew dissatisfied with his own lot,forthwith determined to shut up shop, turn everything into cash, andset about making money in right-down earnest.During this process, which I will call the dreamdisplacement , I notice kontaktanzeigen lesben bild kostenlos also the psychical intensity, significance, oremotional nature of the thoughts become transposed in sensory vividness.Buller, who sat by the tiller tokeep kostenlos camsex the boat away from the bank, and I am glad to see you in a boatunder any circumstances.There, whenever I chanced tolook, I saw him kneel and pray; and there, by day and by night, tiersex download afuneral hymn was chanted.
[Reply]
December 24th, 2006 at 7:53 am
very well said ate xy.
merry christmas :)
[Reply]
December 24th, 2006 at 11:18 am
you know what? i love you for being you.
merry christmas! mwah!
[Reply]
December 24th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
You go candy girl! haha.
i’m always here for you, model.
merry christmas, mwah! <3
[Reply]
December 24th, 2006 at 7:48 pm
that’s nice. onga, you’re right. you cant please everyone in this world. jus be contented with the people you have.. && luv those who treat you right and forget about the ones who dont. life is too short to waste on them haha.<3 im so proud of you ate xy. nurse ka na talaga. parang kelan lang. anyways, merry christmas!
love, ellaine
[Reply]
December 25th, 2006 at 7:29 am
omg. thank you girls for those wonderful comments. I only posted this because I wanted to let it all out. I thought you would say that I should just forget blah blah blah or contradict what I posted or tell me that I am so mean. I took a lot of courage to post that but omg.. I dont know what to say. I didn’t know that you guys would find it touching.. Aww. thanks… I love you because of that! Mwah. Thanks girls for the support! *hug so tight!*
[Reply]
December 25th, 2006 at 8:34 am
hi xyla! merry christmas!
anyway, i hope u are feeling better, and i think no one really intentionally hurts other people, specially those kinds who are really nice.
cheer up!
[Reply]
December 25th, 2006 at 9:29 am
hi ate xy! congrats for getting your license! I hope all is well with you. merry Christmas. :-)
[Reply]
December 31st, 2006 at 10:19 pm
i can relate to this post, sobra!
[Reply]