Goodbye, tatay
I just told my boyfriend the other day about my feelings when I saw tatay (my grand father) on bed with signs of enlarged abdomen, hand tremors and bed sores when we visited him last October 31. I tried to control my tears when I greeted him, “Tatay, andito na po kame…” I wasn’t used to seeing him that way… I have always remembered Tatay who takes care of our old farm and hunts for whatever he could hunt in the field. Tatay is a very talkative person that sometimes it’s irritating to hear but we just let it pass because he’s our grand father.
When I saw him on bed, I knew that he won’t make it until January 2010. I felt that he has only limited days to live. I never expected that he would leave us for good yesterday. Yeah, we were already prepared about his death but everything was just so fast. My aunt and uncle from the USA are already on the plane to see him and to be with him but tatay wasn’t able to wait for them. I feel sadder for my other aunt who couldn’t go home for some personal reasons. :(
My heart will always have a spot for the geriatric patients. Whenever I am assigned to an elderly patient, I can’t help but be attached with them probably because I was never given an opportunity to bond with my grandparents. They live in the province while we live here in the metro. So whenever my old patients die, I feel sad… But nothing beats this sadness when it’s your grandparent who died. I know that I am much closer with my old patients that I have no relation with but I still feel sadder because it’s my father’s father. It’s my grandfather whom I never had the chance to bond with. So many what ifs going on my mind now…
Sigh. Wherever you are Tatay, I hope you are happy. At least, you can finally rest now. Your suffering has already ended. We will see you soon… at the right time. And when that time comes, I hope that we’ll be closer this time…
My name is Xyla, a 24-year-old Filipina unemployed registered nurse. I am a freelance writer for a nursing magazine of a review center. I aim to be a nurse leader in the future. With only 12 units left in my Master's Degree (Major in Medical-Surgical Nursing), I am ready to teach nursing students. During my past time, I kill Zombies, plant Cherry Bombs, Marigold and Melon Pult and make cheesy stuff for my boyfriend. I firmly justify that I am not too old for Glee-addiction. I hate prepositions. They make my life complicated.
Condolences ate xy… :(
I know how you feel. Though my lola (mum’s side) lives with us, my grand parents (father side) lives in the states. I never got a chance to really bond with them. My lola there doesn’t like us pa. Drama buhay namin. lol
Let’s just hope na wherever your lolo is right now, at least he isn’t having difficulty anymore. Wala na yung pain. And I know he’s just up there looking over the people he left. May guardian angel kayo. :)
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hug. condolence. Don’t worry, God will bless your lolo at soon makakarating na siya sa heaven.
ako? Close lang ako sa isa kong lola. :( hay.
anyway, ate, we have a I think master’s program here in the US that is called gerentology or something like that. You might want to check that out since you are really like working with people from older generation.
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My heart goes to you and to your family, bru. I know how painful is it to be in your situation. Losing someone especially the person whom we used to be in our side as we grow up.
You know that I did my clinical in a convalescent homes. On my first day, I was trying to hold back my tears just to complete my hours that day without breaking down. Seeing them so weak and fragile, makes me think that they are not like that during their younger years. But it’s the cycle of life.
My deepest condolences, bru. I miss you and hope to talk to you soon. Mwah
Gracie´s last blog ..i’m certified!
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condolence ate xyla..
ako nung una, di ko feel yung mag-alaga sa matanda. pero nung naassign kami sa veterans nun tas pati sa geriatric ward ng feu ayun..bigla ako nagakaroon ng heart sa pagaalaga sa matanda :)
same po kasi tayo. nasa province yung katangi-tanging nabubuhay pa na lola ko (maternal side). lolo ko kasi wa na. pati lolo’t lola (Paternal side)..kaya nung last week na nasa iloilo ako, di ko rin akalain na natuwa ako sa lola ko, naiinis kasi ako sa kanya dati. hahaha. maingay kasi. eh ngayon di na siya gaano nakakapagsalita…me speech therapy pa nga kami nun..tas tawa na siya ng tawa. hay nawa humaba pa buhay niya.. :)
nasa piling na ni Bro si tatay mo. he already received his healing. :)
condolence ulet :)
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Aww. Condolences po ate xy.
Don’t worry, I’m sure wherever he is, he’s happy with God and watching after you and your family :)
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